Treacherous
by rippingbutterflywings
Summary: Bella Swan has been Alice Cullen's best friend since middle school. She's always tried to see Edward, her friend's adoptive brother, as just another guy, but it isn't easy, considering he's the most charming guy she knows. When he returns from a year abroad in England, will she let herself fall for the guy who is most likely to break her heart? A/U.
1. Chapter 1

_Hi, lovely people! So I got the idea for this story a couple of days ago and decided to give it a shot because I really, really wanted to write this kind of story. Thank you to lellabeth for beta'ing this for me! :) Also, thank you to lightlacedwithbeauty and maxwaylandgrey for helping me with titles and stuff. Love you two. xo  
_  
_**I do not own Twilight**_

* * *

Alice sits cross-legged on her bed, reading a fashion magazine while a song I don't recognize is playing from her laptop. I pretend to be skimming through a magazine as well, though I'm actually thinking of what to make my dad for dinner tonight. Charlie has never been a great cook—in fact, he's never even been a good cook—so it's my responsibility as his only daughter and the only person he lives with to make him something to eat.

I realize Alice just said something, but I've been too lost in my own thoughts to listen. "I'm sorry?"

"I said," Alice replies, "are you hungry?"

"Kind of," I admit, not wanting to tell her that I'm actually starving. I don't know how she survives without eating for so long.

She leads me to her kitchen, which is very spacious and modern, and has two fridges full of food. I don't know why, since no one in her family has a big appetite—unless you count Emmett, who would probably resort to cannibalism if that were his only option.

"Pick whatever you want," says Alice as she starts looking through the pantry. I wander around, opening one of the fridges and taking out a soda can. I reach for one of the apples on the counter and, just as I turn around, someone behind me speaks.

"A soda and an apple. Interesting contrast." The voice is velvety, deep and smooth, the kind of voice that you could listen to all day, the kind of voice you fall asleep to.

Edward Cullen is standing before me, smirking as I stare stupidly at him. "Aren't you in England?"

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I regret saying them. The one time I have a chance to say something smart to the one good-looking guy I've ever spoken to, I say the stupidest thing I can think of. Life must really hate me.

"Last time I checked, this is my house's kitchen."

All I can do is shake my head as he tries not to laugh at my words. "When did you get back?" I finally ask.

"Last night," he says, opening the fridge and taking out a bottle of water. "I'm suffering from a severe case of jetlag. Sorry if my pretty face isn't around for a while."

"Don't flatter yourself, Cullen."

My words surprise me. They're coming easily now, and I find myself answering without missing a beat. He shakes his head at me, says something about there being every reason for him to do so, and then makes his way out of the kitchen, mentioning something about him owing Alice over a hundred dollars.

I decide not to think much about our encounter as Alice exits the pantry with chips, granola bars, and a container to put them all in. As she does that, she asks me to get her a water bottle, and I do so.

"So, your brother came downstairs," I say.

"Which one?"

"Edward." I roll my eyes.

Alice sighs. "He came back last night. He and Emmett have been talking nonstop about the girls. You know Ed," she says, rolling her eyes, "always finding a new girl to sleep with."

"I don't get why girls go crazy over him," I lie. I do, in fact, know why girls go crazy over him. His bronze hair and soft eyes, his strong jawline and creamy skin, plus the air of mystery he carries around with him wherever he goes. He's every girl's dream, because even as he keeps everyone wanting to know more, he is charming and easygoing and makes people comfortable far too easy for her liking.

"Oh, come on, Bella. That's sweet, but you don't have to lie," my friend says, taking the container from the counter as well as her water bottle. "He's not terrible looking."

"I just don't see him that way," I tell her, even though that's the only way I've ever seen him. I would never go for him, of course—he's my best friend's older, heartless brother, who pretends to be mysterious only to get into girls' pants. It works for him, obviously, and I can admit that he is kind of sexy. Still, though—there are so many reasons why I wouldn't date him, the first one being that he is a heartbreaker.

Two years ago, when I was starting high school and he was just starting his second year, Edward dated Jessica Stanley, who had been my friend during middle school before Alice moved to Forks. The term "dated" is too formal, really—it was more like he slept with her, took her to eat a couple of times just to keep her around, then crushed her and tore her heart into tiny, unfixable pieces when he said that he didn't want her anymore.

To say that she was heartbroken would be an understatement. Jessica, who had always cared too much about the way she looked, began coming to school without makeup and seemed to always be crying. She didn't seem together at all, at least not for the first couple of months. She had always been sensitive, and I hated to see her so…broken, even if she was kind of a bitch to me in the eighth grade.

"Do you wanna watch a movie?" Alice asks. "I have some of our favorite chick flicks!"

"And by 'ours', you mean 'yours', sadly," I reply. I hate chick flicks, from their unrealistic characters to their corny sense of humor and their flat, lame characters. I hate, hate, _hate _them.

"Yeah, yeah," says Alice, clicking the play button and getting comfortable with a smug smile.

Sometimes, I really hate my friends.

* * *

After I leave the Cullen residence, I stop by the grocery store and pick up something to make Charlie. He eats like crazy, so I have to make sure to get the right amount of everything, and even a little bit extra.

Driving home, I keep thinking of what this past year has been like. With Edward gone, girls turned their attention to other things—and by "things," I mean boys, though none of them were as interesting as much as Edward was.

I'm not the kind of girl who thinks much about romantic love—not at the moment, anyway. I know what I want in life, and that's what I focus all of my energy on. I work my butt off every single day to get good grades—great ones, even—only so I can get a great scholarship and get the hell out of Forks.

It's not that I hate it here. Hate is a very strong word. True, I use it for most things, but I wouldn't for Forks. I would say that I strongly, passionately dislike this town. I've been living here for two years, after living with my mom in Phoenix, Arizona. Living with her was like living with a twelve year-old. All she wanted to do was gossip, read magazines, watch romantic comedies, and talk about boys. I was happy enough when she started dating her current boyfriend, Phil, because she could spend all of her energy on him instead of on me. It was still bad, though—she didn't have a job, paid more attention to her boyfriend than to her daughter, and was almost never around.

"Hey, Bells," says my dad, noticing that I've arrived as soon as the door closes by accident behind me. "Let me help you with that." He takes some of the groceries that I'm carrying. "How was your day?"

"It was good. Um, there are more groceries in the car, so…"

"I'll get them."

"I'm making lasagna tonight," I add with a smile.

"You're the best," Charlie says. I haven't made his favorite in a while. When he comes back inside after bringing in the last of the groceries, he asks if I need any help cooking.

"Dad, you're as good with cooking as Leonardo DiCaprio is at winning an Oscar," I tell him, realizing a second too late that my dad, unlike my mom, does not know anything about celebrities.

At his confused look, I shake my head and tell him to go watch some football. Nearly two hours later, the lasagna is served, and the two of us sit down to eat. I don't eat much, since I'm nervous about tomorrow, it being the first day of my junior year and all. I don't know why that makes me so nervous, but it does.

"You okay?" Charlie asks, jerking his head towards my plate. "You haven't even touched your food."

"I'm fine. Just nervous, I guess." I try to smile in order to reassure him that I'm okay.

He nods and runs a hand through his hair. "Well when you're done, leave the plate on the counter. I'm doing the dishes."

"I can do the dishes," I offer, but he shakes his head.

"Go get some sleep, Bella," he says, smiling at me in a way that doesn't reach his eyes for a reason I don't understand. I nod, leaving my plate on the counter, as I'm not hungry anyway. I tell him goodnight as I pass by him on the way to the stairs.

* * *

I can't sleep.

I know that I should, seeing as I wake up at seven a.m. to go to school, but a part of me just can't seem to shut down.

For some reason, my mind keeps going back to Edward. Not just the way his hair looks perfect as it meets the sunlight, or the way his eyes look closer to gold in a certain kind of light. I think about what's gonna happen now that he's back.

His return doesn't affect me in any way, but I feel bad for every girl who's counting on his return to be the time they _finally _get to be with _the_ Edward Cullen. Sadly, I wish that the emphasis on _the_ was something I'm making up to be more dramatic about the situation, but people actually refer to him as that. If that's not pathetic, then I don't know what is.

I just don't wanna walk into a class and find a different girl crying in every single one because "_why, oh why, is Edward Cullen with that blonde bimbo with fake boobs and no personality?"_I can't help but roll my eyes at everyone who thinks they're the exception to that description. With the exception of the hair color, they're all the same.

I keep tossing and turning, and even pull out my phone to text Alice. _Are you up?_

I don't receive a reply. Of course I don't. Alice is the complete opposite of me. She's outgoing, fearless, brave, with so much personality that everyone is scared she might explode sometimes. She's tiny and delicate and full of passions that the world can't begin to grasp, and she's the only one I trust with my life, because she's one of the few people who truly cares about others. She might not show it in the way that people usually do, but it's so obvious with the way she looks at you when your heart breaks. It's like hers is breaking, too.

So, naturally, due to her careless, fearless nature, she is not at all worried about tomorrow and is probably sound asleep. Even the fact that she finally gets to see her boyfriend tomorrow isn't keeping her up.

_So, _I say to myself, letting out a sigh, _why is Edward keeping _you _up? _

* * *

_Thank you for reading! I'd love to hear what you think. :) _


	2. Chapter 2

_Hi, guys! Sorry for the long wait to update this story. It'll probably be updated every two weeks or so, depending on how inspired I am to write these chapters. Thanks to lellabeth for beta'ing this for me! xo_

_Thanks to everyone who reads and even more so to everyone who's reviewed/added this story to their favorites/followed this story. Lots of love to all of you. Also, thank you to lightlacedwithbeauty for hurrying me up as I type this and keeping me from falling asleep. :P_

_Enjoy the chapter! :)_

* * *

The first day of school was always one I dreaded, starting from when I was a kid and leading up to now, even though I'm sixteen years old.

I wake up and feel tired, mostly from my lack of sleep, but also because I don't like going to school the first week. Or the school year. You know, whatever.

I check my phone and see that I have a new text from Alice. _Sorry I didn't see your text. Morning, sunshine! I'm coming over half an hour earlier than usual to make sure u look stunning! Xo_

I roll my eyes and get up, walking around my room in a zombie-like manner while trying to find the light switch. The light burns my eyes, and I curse under my breath.

There's a knock on my door, and I'm really hoping it's not Alice. She can't be here yet—no way. "It's me," Charlie says, and I let out a breath. He clears his throat. "You up, Bells?"

"I am," I call out, rubbing my eyes, blinking several times, and making my way over to where my drawer stands. "By the way," I add, "Alice is giving me a ride."

"Alright," he replies. "Have a good day today."

He knows how I feel about first days, but Charlie's always been a man of few words and less emotional declarations. "Thanks, Dad."

Once I hear the sound of his footsteps fading away, I check the clock. Six forty-five a.m., it reads, and soon it will be six fifty, and Alice will be here. The front door slams shut, signaling my dad's finally left for work. I quickly rummage through my clothes, feeling the seconds tick by and dreading Alice's wrath. I pick out my best pair of jeans, the ones Alice thinks make my butt look cute, and a couple of shirts that she might like, along with my favorite jackets that might also be approved by her. First days are the days to please her, after all.

My phone vibrates on my nightstand, and, as soon as I answer, all I can hear is, "Goddamn, Edward!" coming from Alice's mouth.

_Oh, no._

"Hey, Bella," Alice says once she realizes that I've picked up my phone. "We have a bit of a situation."

"Oh, yeah?" I pretend that I'm not perfectly aware of her brother sitting next to her, probably laughing at the fact that he just got a reaction out of her. "What's that?"

"Edward is kind of in my car and will be at your house in approximately two minutes."

"You love me," I hear him say.

She sighs. "Emmett had to go pick up Rose early."

"Fine." I give my voice a dramatic tone. "But, just for this, I get to pick out my own clothes."

"But—"

I hang up the phone before she can finish her protest.

I'm already outside when Alice's car comes into view, since I'm not really hungry and don't have time to eat anyway. She looks royally pissed off, and Edward is smirking next to her.

This car ride is gonna _suck. _

They both exit their car. "Can we chill here for a little while?" Alice asks. "We're pretty early."

"Sure," I say, making my way back into my house. I know that Alice will find a way to make me eat, so I don't even try to fight it when she suggests that I have some breakfast while Edward heads for the couch.

"So," she tells me, "I'm contemplating murder."

"What about the jail time? Do you really want to spend so much of your life wearing that hideous shade of orange?"

"I don't think I care anymore."

Edward's turned on the TV, and I can hear the distant changing of channels. I roll my eyes at Alice and finish making my sandwich. "I thought you missed him."

"I'm pretty sure I was smoking something when I said that."

I take a bite out of my sandwich and realize that it would have been a mistake to start off the day without food. What the crap was I thinking? And how have I done it for so long? I finish the sandwich and my drink in record time, and I make sure everything is clean before Alice follows me into the living room.

"We should get going," Edward says. "You know, I wanna make an entrance."

Alice rolls her eyes at him. "Get over yourself."

We get in the car and I block the two siblings out by listening to music through the entire car ride. Alice is my best friend, and I love her to death, but whenever she interacts with Edward, I want to rip her head off—along with his, but I want to rip his head off every other time, too. When we arrive at the school, I take my headphones out and pause the music, basically jumping out of the car. Edward takes his bag and shuts the door, walking way ahead of us. He has, like, superhuman speed. It's ridiculous.

"He makes me so mad!" Alice exclaims, slamming the car's door. "Ugh!"

"He can be kind of a dick," I tell her, even though we both know that I mean he can be _a total dick all the freaking time. _

"Are you doing okay so far?"

"I don't get why first days are so hard for me."

"Me neither," she says. "I mean, I'd get it if you had no friends and did badly in school and whatnot, but you're actually pretty well-liked and you're on the freaking honor roll, so I don't know."

"Yeah, I clearly don't either." I shake my head. "Hey, is Jasper already here?"

"Nah. His mom's really sick, so he's staying home to help her out."

Alice's boyfriend is basically one of the couple of boys I can tolerate in life. He's sweet, smart, puts up with Alice, and has been really nice to me ever since we met.

I make my way to the main office with Alice by my side. We ask for our schedules, saying our full names and student numbers, and we're handed back a piece of paper with our schedule for the semester on it. I take a look at mine and let out a groan. They're making me take PE _again _even though I've already fulfilled the graduation requirements for it.

_Period 1 (8:15-9:11) Pre-Calculus_

_Period 2 (9:15-10:11) Chemistry  
_

_Advisory (10:15-10:45) _

_Period 3 (10:49 – 11:45) PE_

_Lunch (11:45 – 12:15) _

_Period 4 (12:19 – 1:15) AP Literature and Composition_

_Period 5 (1:19-2:15) AP Spanish Language_

_Period 6 (2:19-3:15) AP United States History_

I have to change my third period, obviously, because there is no way in _hell _I'm putting up with PE again. Someone taps my shoulder, and I whirl around to find a very pissed off Alice looking at me.

"I. Hate. Everything."

She hands me her schedule. I try to hold back laughter because, even though we have the same second and sixth periods, her electives are…AP Macroeconomics? Intro to Business? I lift an eyebrow and hand it back to her wordlessly.

"Can't say the school doesn't have a sense of humor."

"Come on," Alice says, fuming. "We have to ask for a change before I have a nervous breakdown."

"Breathe," I say as we approach the main office yet again. "Come on, Alice, breathe."

"Shut up, Bella."

"Can I help you, ladies?" the secretary asks, peering up at us from behind the door.

"Um, we need to work on our schedules. Like, right now."

"I'll write your name down. Sit over there." She jerks her head towards the chairs lined up in front of the counselor's office. The two of us plop down in separate chairs, letting out simultaneous breaths as a way to show our frustration. More than that, though, I'm tremendously tired. The lack of sleep has caught up to me, and it feels like I haven't slept in days.

"You look like hell," says Alice, suddenly. "Get some sleep tonight, will you?"

"Trust me, I can't wait until I get home and sleep." I tilt my head back and close my eyes, fighting sleep but feeling myself give into it all at once.

"Isabella Swan?"

My eyes snap open at the mention of my name.

"Come on in," says our counselor, Mrs. Harrington. I stand up groggily and make my way into her office. "What can I help you with?"

It took a second too long for the words to click in my mind. "Oh!" I fish out the piece of paper that contains my schedule from my bag and hand it over to her. "I want to change my third period, since I've already taken the required units to graduate."

The counselor looks at the piece of paper, nodding as I speak and making noises of understanding as she figures out what the situation is. "I see." She takes out a file, which I think has my information in it, and begins reading, looking through my existing credits. "Well," she says, letting out a sigh, "you can either choose a free period or take a look at a list of classes and see which one you'd like to take this semester—a year whatever you want."

She hands me a piece of paper with the classes available at the time. "Um," I say, "can I think this over?"

"Sure," the counselor replies, giving me a smile. "There's an assembly going on right now, but if you'd like to stay here and think about it, that's fine."

I give her a nod. "That'd be great," I tell her, thanking her for the help and making my way back outside, sitting down beside Alice again.

Before she can ask what the counselor told me, her name is called and she is forced to stand up, but she gives me a look that says that we will continue this conversation when she's out. I roll my eyes and look at my list, going through each of the classes and choosing Sociology, hoping that I'm gonna be able to get in.

Once Alice is out of the office, I go back in to tell the counselor which class I choose, and she says she'll let me know during Advisory whether or not she's able to place me in the class.

"So," says Alice as we walk to our first period classes, "you're taking AP Lit."

"So?" I furrow my brows. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well." Alice grimaces. "Edward's sort of taking that class too. And Sociology. And AP Spanish."

"_What?!_"

"I'm sorry?"

I'm trying my hardest not to look murderous, but I have a class with Edward Cullen where I'm the only junior, and three where I'm the only one girl who won't be drooling over him the whole period.

The thing is, I could've been okay with him. He isn't the kind of boy that would go around kicking puppies or punching babies in the face, so he is, by all definition, a decent enough human being to me.

But he loves the attention and craves it in a way that drives me insane.

"Whatever," I say as the bell rings. "This is my stop, so I'll see you in Chem."

"See ya," says Alice, and we both turn around, parting ways as she goes to her drawing class and I into my Pre-Calculus one.

The class is full of familiar faces, none of which I'm particularly fond of. There's Jessica, who looks pissed off at everything, and I suspect it has something to do with the return of Edward to Forks. He did step on her heart enough times to break it, after all. That, and also the fact that this is probably her least favorite subject—ever. Next to her is Angela, her best friend, who is slightly less boy-crazy and also considerably nicer. She pushes her glasses up and I remember the time in ninth grade when she swore off wearing contacts after one of them got stuck behind her eye. Unlike Jessica, she's careful and intelligent and kind, and even though we aren't friends anymore, she still smiles at me during class or when we pass each other in the hallways.

I sit close to the window and at the very back of the classroom. People are (loudly) talking about what—and who—they did over the summer. I hear some girls talking, and though I can't make out exactly what they're saying, I know they're talking about Edward's return.

The final bell rings just as the teacher walks into the classroom. He apologizes, says he's new. We smile. He asks us what we did over the summer, and now he's lost control over the class. Everyone speaks at once. I doodle in my notebook even though I'm not a very good artist. I keep tracing patterns until everyone shuts up.

"We're gonna start by reading the syllabus, so everyone be quiet."

His voice is loud and clear as he begins reading about his expectations for the class. I listen and countdown the minutes until the bell rings. When it does, I gather my books and make my way out the door, only to find that the Chemistry classroom is right in front of my math one.

I pick the same seat I did in Pre-Calculus (close to a window and at the back of the row of chairs). I notice Angela hesitantly approaching me.

"Hey, Bella." She smiles sweetly.

"Hey, Angela," I reply with the same tone and the same smile. "How was your summer?"

"Boring, to be honest. Took some driving and SAT classes." She rolls her eyes. "What about yours?"

"I was mostly in Phoenix with my mom, but I came back here halfway through July and spent time with some friends." Those 'friends' are mostly Jasper and Alice, but also Billy and Jacob Black, who are family friends. I mostly spent time with the latter, who was Billy's son and two years younger than me. Alice says he has a "cute crush" on me, but I don't see it.

Alice makes her way into the classroom and somehow manages to snag the chair in front of me. Angela and I let our conversation hang in the air.

"How was Pre-Calc?" asks Alice with her eyebrows raised.

"It was Pre-Calc," I say matter-of-factly. "How was drawing class?"

"It's gonna be a good class since I can, you know, make sketches and stuff." She smiles. "I need to show you this new line I've been working on—"

"Okay, class, settle down." The teacher's voice cuts off Alice's sentence, and we realize that we were so caught up in our thoughts and conversation that we completely ignored the bell ringing. She gives me a look that says we'll continue our conversation later, and I give her a nod before she turns around. This is another class of hearing all about the expectations and grading system, and I find myself lost in my thoughts and doodling absentmindedly once more.

The rest period goes by in a blur. I'm too tired to pay attention to the announcements during Advisory, and I find myself almost falling asleep, with Alice constantly having to poke me in order for me to stay awake. Sociology rolls around too fast, and just as I'm about to pick the last seat of the row closest to the window, a familiar person beats me to it.

I find myself groaning as Edward Cullen makes himself comfortable in the desk that was supposed to be mine. Before anyone else takes it, I make sure to secure the one next to him—it's in the back, after all, and that's better than nothing. He's looking at me, obviously amused at my misery, enjoying the fact that I have go around and walk more just 'cause he felt like taking my seat.

Have I mentioned I _hate _Edward? Have I also mentioned I'm tired and hate this day?

Girls are staring at him as if he's a piece of work—which he is, but not in the way they're thinking. He smiles at them, shakes his head at their comments and flirts with literally every single one of the girls that approaches him. It's ridiculous. So. Freaking. Ridiculous. It's shocking that he hasn't begun flirting with boys, really.

The teacher begins reading the syllabus soon enough, and I take out my notebook, hunching over slightly so that no one can look at my doodles even though I don't even know what the crap they are and they hold no meaning whatsoever.

The bell rings, and the rest of the day passes by quickly enough. I see too much of Edward, definitely, and I hear more of him even when I have no classes with him. People in my grade have somehow found out I have a class with him and have asked me if I've talked to him.

"He's not a freaking celebrity!" I say to Alice as we walk towards her car. "Why the hell are people so obsessed with him?"

"Obsessed with who?"

Of course.

"Not you," Alice says, rolling her eyes. "Get a ride with Emmett."

"Oh, come on," Edward says, poking her shoulder. "I thought we had a great connection."

"I hate you." She glares at him. "Go away."

"You're giving me a ride."

"You're going in the back," she tells him, pushing me towards the front. I gladly open the door and get in before he gets the chance to work some sort of football player ninja moves and get in before I do.

The car ride is silent, but it isn't an awkward kind of silent. We're all so tired and worn out and I'm pretty sure that if we ever missed school during the summer, that feeling is gone. At least it's Edward's final year. Alice and I have to put up with attending school for two more years. He gets something to look forward to.

Jerk.

"Well," Alice says, "here we are."

"See you tomorrow," I say, slinging my backpack over my shoulder.

"Text me!" Alice manages to say this before I shut the door, and I give her two thumbs up and make my way into the house, glad to finally be inside the comfort of my home.

* * *

_Let me know what you think! _


	3. Chapter 3

_Hi, everyone! Here's the chapter, which I finished surprisingly fast, considering I wasn't feeling inspired to write AT ALL this past week. But then, yesterday, I got inspired to write instead of study and fill out job applications, so...here we are.  
_  
_As always, thank you to the lovely lellabeth for beta'ing! Also, thanks to maxwaylandgrey for watching Ginger and Rosa with me tonight (we haven't had a movie date in ages!), and to lightlacedwithbeauty for making me write yesterday. xo_

_Hope you enjoy it!_

* * *

Edward Cullen makes surprisingly smart, insightful comments in our AP Literature class.

I wouldn't have thought of Edward—football player, jerk, disrespectful asshole, a general mystery—as an avid reader, but he seems to be. He likes Hemingway, Shakespeare, Twain, Faulkner, and Orwell, and he always surprises me when he comments on their writing and their work. It's like I'm seeing a different side of him for fifty-five minutes every day of the week, and I don't know how to feel about that.

However, despite the fact that he really does like literature and regards it with respect and passion even, the fact that girls love him even more so now has definitely gotten to his head.

"Get off your high horse, Edward," Alice snaps at him, bringing me back to why I'd begun thinking of him in the first place. He crashed his car again after a party about a week ago, and Alice has to give him a ride to school most of the time, making my mornings hell.

"You just don't know what it feels like to be loved, little sis." He's wearing sunglasses even though we're inside the car and it's raining outside and it's _never freaking sunny_ in Forks. What's his deal?

I want to tell him that he doesn't know a thing about love, that he has to know that what people express toward him is a sick infatuation, and not the kind of love that actually exists out there, the kind that Alice feels for Jasper, for example. People don't love him—they don't even like him. They like the idea that there's more to him. They like chasing after the hidden part of him; they like the mystery.

"Oh, shut up, dickhead." She parks the car and slams the door. We're at a gas station. Lovely.

It's just me and him now, and I'm pretty sure the awkwardness is tangible. It's always been like this between us. We don't usually spend time together, never mind time _alone_, and I find myself not knowing what to say, mostly because I don't want to say anything at all. I'm pretending to listen to music as he texts someone. Not that I care who he's texting. I don't. He's just another typical person with a different anatomy, a bigger ego, and a nastier personality.

"Did you do the Lit assignment?"

I pretend to have only heard some of what he said, pull out my headphones, and put on a confused face. "What?"

"The essay," he says. "Did you write it?"

"Oh." It seems like an odd conversation to have at seven a.m. at a gas station, but I roll with it. "Um, yeah. What about you?"

He nods. "What'd you think of the question? Pretty stupid, don't you think?"

I actually _had_ thought it was stupid. As I wrote the essay, I shook my head at how easy it was, at how stupid the topic seemed. I didn't picture anyone else thinking the same thing, but here's Edward Cullen, surprising me once more.

"It was an incredibly stupid question, but I hate analyzing poetry. _Hate. _I don't even enjoy reading it that much." I stop talking before I go on a full-on rant about poetry.

"I don't mind it," he says with a shrug, but there's something about the way he says it that makes me think that he actually enjoys it. I hate him for this too—for how easy he makes everything seem, for how he'll adjust to what you like just because he doesn't think his likes and dislikes are good enough."I mean, it's not my favorite thing in the world, but it's easy once you learn to interpret it differently because of its structure and all."

For some reason, I don't question the fact that I'm in Alice's car, waiting the longest time to leave and talking to Edward Cullen, whom I hate, about one of the things I love the most.

"I know how to analyze it well," I tell him, not wanting him to think that I'm incompetent. "I just don't enjoy doing so."

"To each their own, right?" He hasn't taken off his sunglasses, but it doesn't matter because Alice is back in the car and our conversation is over.

Who would've thought, though? I would've never pegged him as a literature lover. It doesn't sound right. He's the last person I would've imagined picking up a book and savoring it, losing himself in the words written in the pages.

Whatever. It's just one thing I didn't know about him. It's no big deal. I mean, I did say he's mysterious.

Alice and I walk together to our lockers when we get to school. "So," she says, "I saw you and Edward talking." Her eyebrow is raised as she waits expectantly for my answer.

"Yeah," I tell her as I open my locker and begin switching books. "He asked me about our Lit essay and then we started talking about the poem. It's no big deal." It's also, thankfully, not entirely a lie. Seriously, thank God. I'd hate having to lie to her, but if he and I ever talked about anything besides schoolwork or his hatred towards her, she'd kill me

_Kill me. _

I walk to my first period class with Alice beside me, since she has to walk by it anyway to get to the Arts building. "Well," she says, "it's nice that you have him. You know, to talk about your stupid poetry and books and all that."

"Sure," I tell her, saying goodbye as I walk into my first period class. The bell hasn't rung yet, but I like being ready.

As soon as I step inside, Jessica walks over to me, which is weird since we haven't spoken to each other willingly in over two years.

"Hey, Bella."

"Hey," I say, sitting down and looking at her with a blank expression on my face.

"So, I hear you have a class with Edward." She bats her eyelashes to let me know what she wants, and I fight the urge to roll my eyes.

"Yeah." I blink. "So?"

She tries again with an obviously fake smile. "What's he like?"

"You dated him or whatever. You should know better than anyone else what he's like."

"Bella," she says with a frustrated tone. "I need to know."

"Then ask him, not me."

"I can't just…talk to him," she tells me, taking the liberty to sit down on the chair in front of mine. "That's not how it works."

"Yes, it is," I say, and if it wasn't clear to her that I was sick of this conversation before, then it is now.

"I'm gonna go." Jessica looks like she deeply regrets spilling her guts to me, like she knows the image I had of her has now changed and I see her as a totally different person, even though I still see her as the kind of girl I did before: one that is obsessed with Edward Cullen and will do pretty much anything to be with him. I feel a surge of pity towards her. "Nice talking to you. And, um, would you mind not mentioning this to him? Or anyone?"

I nod, speaking no more. I watch her walk away. It must suck to have that kind of love—or whatever it is she's feeling—and have the person you feel these things for disregard you completely. I can't begin to imagine what that must feel like, and I'm not sure I want to.

Sometimes, I wonder how people like Jessica make such stupid choices. I mean, she should've known that Edward was going to break her heart. It's basically a given. She shouldn't have gone to him unless she wanted to end up with a broken heart and a confused mind.

"Okay, class," says my math teacher, "let's get out the homework."

The rest of the class goes by in a blur. I notice Jessica staring at me a couple of times, and despite the pity I have for her, I want to tell her to stop. I know she's doing this so I'll change my mind.

"Hey," says Alice once I'm in Chemistry. "You look horrible. What's up?"

"Aside from the fact that I just had the worst class ever, there's also your stepbrother."

"If he said or did something—"

I shake my head. "It's Jessica. She 'needs' to know more about him and thinks I'm the person to help."

"Why you?" She looks as confused as I feel.

"I have no idea, but I said I wouldn't do it," I reply. Alice may hate Edward from time to time, but we both know how scary his exes can be. Giving information about him to these obsessed girls would be horrible—and potentially dangerous, considering the kind of devotion Jessica shows is nowhere near healthy.

"She needs to stop being so clingy," she tells me. "That's not even slightly attractive."

"I don't even know why she wants him back so much. Seriously, where's her self-respect?"

"I don't know," Alice says, smiling. "But, then again, I'm his sister. I'm not supposed to get it—at least the wanting him, anyway—unless I'm into incest, which is nasty."

I smirk. "You neeeeever know."

"You're gross." She smacks my arm playfully, and I let out a giggle.

The class is boring at its best, but I'm good at it, thankfully. The teacher makes us learn some crap, and then he makes us turn in a worksheet, and everyone looks like they want to jump off the Empire State.

During our advisory period, Alice talks to me about how Jasper is asking her to homecoming in a really sweet way. She knows this even though she doesn't know his plan, because he's _Jasper, _and she tells me that he wants to take a gap year so they start college together and he can stay close to her. I want to tell her that she's kind of holding him back, but I can't because it won't change anything and I'll just spoil her mood, and I don't want to. The truth is that if a boy offered to take a gap year so he could start college with me, I wouldn't mind.

Edward is surrounded by girls. Obviously. I feel bad for the Sociology teacher, even though she's nowhere in sight. No one notices me when I walk into the class, which is pretty much the best I can hope for. I sit down and get ready for class, doodling yet again as I try to tune out the noise of the giggly idiots who keep asking him whether or not he sleeps naked. They're too close to me, considering that he sits beside me, and I curse him and his stupid choice of seating as a girl's ass gets too close to my face.

When the teacher finally walks in, he shakes his head at the girls. "Come on, girls, settle down." His voice is loud. "We do have to start the class sometime."

Like _that's _gonna make them sit down and pay attention. It's not like Edward's the only reason they even show up or anything. Jesus Christ, all he does is throw a ball around a field for fun. How the hell is everyone so enamored with him?

The classes following Sociology are a blur of boredom and Edward and crap that I don't like—save Literature, if you manage to ignore the fact that Edward is in it and most of the class is composed of idiotic teenage girls who happen to be there to stare at him, and maybe prove their seemingly existent intelligence to him in hopes of maybe becoming his girlfriend. Like that's gonna happen anytime soon.

He does make some pretty smart comments, I'll give him that. He refuses to read his essays out loud, though, which is just ridiculous. I wonder what part of himself is in the words he's written, and why he's trying so hard to hide it.

But then I stop wondering, because I don't want to think about him at all. I don't even have a good reason to be constantly wondering who he says he is. Everything he's ever done proves that he's exactly the kind of person I should run from, and nothing is ever going to change that.

No matter how much I wish he would change.

I don't know his reasons for acting like a dick. I wish he had a very visible reason. I wish he had horrible parents or a traumatic childhood that everyone knew about, but he doesn't. He's got good grades, amazing parents, apparent talent at throwing a football around, and he doesn't have the ugliest-looking face. He just acts like he doesn't care, like he doesn't even try to do things, like he just magically ends up being the most charming dude in the whole freakin' universe.

I don't think he's that charming. Every single day, I expect him to charm me, to make me like him so I can understand why everyone is so infatuated with him, but he never does. Every single day, he fails to make me see what everyone else sees.

Maya Angelou once wrote, "_When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."_ When our teacher read this quote to us in class today, Edward stayed silent for the first time in weeks.

The truth is I've only ever seen the Edward that doesn't give a rat's ass about anyone or anything. But maybe, just maybe, there's a part of him that I don't know. And maybe that part is worth getting to know. Maybe that's why so many people want to talk to him, why so many people are obsessed with getting to know him. Maybe _this _is why people are so fascinated by him.

The thing is, I think that Maya Angelou has a point. Even though I know there's more to Edward, I also know that he's shown me who he is most of the time, what he wants me to see. I don't know why that's what he wants people to see, but it is, and I don't really feel like going up to him and telling him that there's a part of him that is actually worth exploring. He wouldn't take that very well, and I lack the courage. I believe that first impressions can be a huge deal, and, apparently, so does one of my favorite authors.

So I tell myself that getting to know Edward isn't worth it anyway, not that I was considering it before. I just think that people are so wrapped up in what they think they can achieve that they forget that Edward is the way he is for a reason. I'm willing to bet that maybe half of the girls after him want to change him, to see a side of him that he's reserving only for them. I don't know if he knows that, but he should.

I know I do.

The car ride home is silent for once, and I don't bother making conversation with anyone as I stare out the window and listen to music. I don't want to start anything, especially not an argument—not even a conversation. After today, all I'm craving is silence.

Two hours after she drops me off, Alice calls me. "So, I just received an invite to a party via my oh-so-great stepbrother, and I think we should go."

"Why?"

"Because, Bella," she says, and I can practically picture her rolling her eyes at me in that annoying way she does, like she knows best and I don't understand anything, "you haven't ever been to a party, and we both need the distraction."

"When is it?" I scroll through my Facebook as I listen to her talking.

"The fourteenth. Please tell me you're up to it?"

"I'll think about it, okay?" I bite my lip as I toss the idea around in my head.

"Alright. See you tomorrow, Bells."

"Bye," I say, hanging up the phone and giving the party some thought. I mean, I know Alice wants to go, and I know that Jasper will probably be there, but so will Edward. Rosie and Emmett will be there too, but Rosalie isn't my biggest fan, so I don't really have a reason to go other than Alice. Like I said, she'll be with Jasper, so that leaves me with no one to accompany me to my very first party. Awesome.

Which means I'm not going.

I send Alice a text message telling her so and get working on my homework. We have to write about the Maya Angelou quote, ironically. I roll my eyes at the stupidity of this and begin typing.

_Maya Angelou's quote states that one's first impression of a person should be the only one taken into account; however, people's varying personalities may suggest that this quote isn't completely valid, therefore questioning the authenticity of the quote and whether or not it is reliable._

That may not be true for everyone, but it's true for me. I chew on my bottom lip, reading and re-reading what I've written.

_Although many may consider Angelou's quote to be true, there are some people who hide their true personalities in order to avoid getting hurt, or as a way to fool other people into thinking they are somebody they are not. This can be seen a lot in society nowadays, and it raises the following question: should we trust people based on our first impression of them? Should be keep digging in hopes of finding what we think is their true personality?_

I stop typing, taking a deep breath. This is ridiculous. _I'm _ridiculous. I'm bringing my feelings into this for sure. I keep typing, though, because even though I want to stop, I don't seem to be able to.

_There is a point in everyone's life when they decide that they've taken enough pain, and they decide to change, put up walls to shield themselves from the hurt that the world outside of their shell might bring. This is one example of how there might be more to someone than what meets the eye._

The quote is neither right nor wrong, really. A lot can be learned about a person depending on the first impression they leave on others. However, someone's first impression isn't all there is to them. You don't learn someone's favorite food or their favorite family member or whether or not they put sprinkles on top of their ice cream the first time you meet them, and those are things, little things, that can say a lot about someone. You don't learn whether or not they liked high school, or why they don't like coffee. You don't learn why they are so trusting of everyone else.

There is so much to be learned about people. People are complicated. They have so many sides to them, and it's impossible to label a person by meeting them once, or even ten times.

I know I have to add more to the essay, but I write my heart out. I don't know why. I should be agreeing with the quote, saying that people can bullshit their way into your life if you let them get any closer than they are when you first meet them, but that would be a lie.

Alice calls me. I frown, taking a deep breath before answering it, expecting her to go all crazy because I chose not to go to the party.

"Edward wants to know if you're done with the essay," Alice says. "And yes, I _am _mad at you."

"I'm not finished, and okay."

"I'll give him the phone."

Before I can manage an "okay," the phone is being passed on to Edward. I feel strangely nervous to speak to him, but I swallow the nerves and grow a pair.

"Hey," he says. "I thought you'd be done with your essay by now."

"Well, it's not a competition," I say, thankful he can't see my pissed-off face.

"I didn't mean it like that. I'm not done either," he admits. "I'm having trouble deciding what to write."

Edward? Having trouble in AP Lit? I raise an eyebrow. "How come?"

"I don't know where I stand in this argument," he confesses, and I don't know why he's telling me all this. We barely know each other. "Angelou says that first impressions are everything, and that may be so, but there's also more to a person than what they seem like to you. Sometimes, it's all about perspective."

"Or about what the person shows you," I blurt out. "I mean, perspective is important, but it's about what the person comes off as, really."

"I'll keep that in mind. Thanks for the wise words, sweetcheeks."

"Call me that again and your pretty face will be rearranged."

There's a small pause. "Did you just call me pretty?"

"Bye, Edward."

That conversation was too easy, and I catch myself thinking that I wouldn't have minded speaking to him more. It's ridiculous. Everything is so fucking ridiculous tonight. I am, and he is, and this quote is and this assignment is and my friends are, and I just want to skip the ridiculousness of it all and find the kind of sense that everything is supposed to make.

The phone rings again. Alice. "What, Edward?"

"Did you just call my brother pretty?"

It's really her. She sounds slightly pissed. "Not what it seems, trust me. I told him I would rearrange his pretty face if he tried to call me a pet name."

Silence. "I'm still mad."

"Look," I say, even though I feel myself regretting the words as I speak them, "I'll think about it some more, okay?" I don't want to have my best friend mad at him when her stepbrother is being weirdly nice to me and asking me stuff about the one class I give a shit about. I don't know what that's all about, and I don't wanna have to figure it all out on my own.

Alice is sensitive sometimes, and I don't know why, but the fact that I'm "reconsidering" attending the party makes her happy, which is good enough for me. I just need to figure out the Edward thing, keep Alice somehow happy _without _attending to the party, and not think too much about everything, and I'll be good.

For now, anyway.

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_Tell me what you think! Thank you for reading. :) _


	4. Chapter 4

_Hi, guys! So, because I'd felt inspired to write this chapter, I sat down on Friday and finished it. However, it took me plenty of hours and lots of encouraging/teasers from the lovely lightlacedwithbeauty. This chapter was...difficult, to say the least. *sigh* I'm just glad it's done._

_Thanks to the awesome lellabeth for beta'ing, as usual. :)) Hope you guys enjoy it!_

* * *

If someone were to ask me to describe Alice in one word, I would definitely say persuasive.

For two whole weeks, she has been trying to get me to go to the upcoming party, thrown by someone I definitely don't know or care about. Whenever I come up with a decent enough excuse to stay home, she has a reply that makes me shut up.

"Edward's gonna be there."

"And far away from you, so don't worry about my annoying stepbrother ruining your night."

"You'll be with Jasper, and I'll be by myself."

"Jasper will gladly go and socialize with his friends if I ask him to."

"I don't feel like it."

"You never feel like doing anything, so suck it up."

Every excuse I tried was useless, which is why I have an extra bag in my locker for when I stay over at her house tonight after the party. I grew tired of her tantrums and glares and, as always, gave her what she wanted.

Well, as I do _most _of the time.

See, we made a deal. I told her I'd go to the party if we leave before one in the morning and I get to wear whatever I want. Sadly, Rosalie's the designated driver tonight, which made me want to back out of the deal the moment I found out. A deal's a deal, though, so Alice pulled me right back in.

"Come on, Bella! We're almost done with high school. You can't back out of parties for stupid reasons."

"First of all, we're _juniors_," I'd pointed out. "And second of all, yes, I can."

"Time passes by quicker than you'd think." She was thinking about Jasper's graduation, of course. Even though he's still staying here until she graduates, that has to have her feeling at least slightly guilty.

I couldn't disagree with her, though. I remember living in Phoenix with my mom as if it had been yesterday, the sun hitting my face as my mom set up a picnic outside of the house, just because she felt like it.

"Good luck," Alice says, bringing me back to today.

I walk into AP English, already beyond irritated and tired and _really _not wanting to think about showing up to that stupid party tonight. I take my seat and wait for Edward to come in with the usual sea of girls running in after him, fighting each other for the seats closest to him and sending death glares my way for being the one that sits right next to him.

Only he doesn't show. I try not to look as confused as I feel—he's probably skipping, since he _was _in the car this morning. _I'm an idiot, _I tell myself. _I'm a freakin' idiot for thinking that he actually cares about this class, for thinking there's more to him than there actually is. He's probably just pretending to be into literature so he can get even more female attention. _

As I begin my next essay, I hear footsteps in the classroom. "Sorry, Mrs. T," says an all-too familiar voice. "I was at the nurse's office." I sense his charming smile through his voice and keep my head down.

The teacher gives him the assignment instructions. I make myself concentrate again, but I'm lost, staring at my unfinished sentence and wondering where my head had been a minute ago, and trying to find my way back.

Someone plops down on the seat next to mine, and I don't need to look up to know it's him. I could tell by the loudness of the footsteps as they grew closer to my chair.

I feel his presence as I try to think clearly, to get back to the essay, but I can't. I'm annoyed at him for interrupting, so when he asks me if I have a pen, I try to look apologetic and tell him I don't—even though they're scattered all over my very messy backpack. I smirk as he turns around, knowing he hates asking those girls surrounding him for anything, because he feels like they owe him something, and they also take extra long to give it to him so they can stare at his face as their eyes meet. Unbelievable, but amusing to watch.

I want to tell them that their infatuation with him is ridiculous. I know Forks doesn't get many interesting people, and that most are basically family and have known each other since they learned how to talk and walk, but the way they act toward him is just plain weird and slightly creepy. I want to tell them that I know this guy is a mystery wearing expensive clothing, and I get that they want to know more, but sometimes you can't. I want to tell them to suck it up.

I don't say that, though. I've been thinking it for years, but the words always catch in my throat. I hardly finish my essay in time as it is, and I make my way to my teacher's desk, hoping to God I don't trip on my way there.

My time in school goes by agonizingly slowly, but I have a feeling that my time at the party will go even slower. Alice is excited, chattering away about outfit plans as we make our way to her house. She even lets Edward play some music.

To my surprise, he plays "California Waiting" by Kings of Leon. I try not to gape at him, but that's proving to be really freakin' hard.

Alice catches my gaze. "I know. Who would've guessed he'd like the same lame music you do?"

He turns around to look at me. "You like Kings of Leon?"

I nod.

"What's your favorite song?"

"Uh, probably 'Use Somebody' at the moment, but I really love 'California Waiting', actually."

"Mine's always going to be 'Sex on Fire'."

I roll my eyes at him, and Alice smacks his arm.

We arrive at the house. Alice and I make our way directly to her room, exhausted yet apparently willing to go to a party. Awesome.

_Ridiculous. _

"When do we leave again?" I'm lying down on Alice's bed with my eyes tightly shut, enjoying the way it makes my back feel. It's been hurting all day.

"At nine."

"Great. I'm gonna nap."

"Suit yourself." She pauses, and then speaks again. "Aren't you gonna eat first?" She sounds confused, as she's well aware of my love for food.

I shake my head and get underneath the covers. "I'm too tired."

She shakes her head at me. "Alrighty, then. See you later. I'll wake you up at seven if you aren't up already."

"Sounds good."

I'm grateful for the fact that she chooses to leave and let me sleep by myself. She knows I feel weird about sleeping when other people are awake nearby, which is why I'm always the last one to fall asleep at sleepovers and why I never go to camp or anything. That would be torture.

I try to relax, to think of something to make me fall asleep. I'm tired, but my mind won't shut off. I keep thinking of random things, such as songs, people, what I ate for breakfast this morning, ice cream and even my mom. It's exhausting, and I roll my eyes at myself, hoping that all the thoughts will go away soon.

The madder I get at myself, though, the more I'm forced to think about things.

So I tell myself to let go.

Alice wakes me up at seven, which I didn't think she would have to do, but I was more tired than I thought. I wake up, cursing this stupid party and making my way downstairs to get some food.

"Look who's finally awake," says Emmett, grinning widely, as he always is.

"Shut up, Emmett," I growl, getting some water from the fridge. My head is pounding, and I don't know how the crap I'm supposed to stand listening to loud music and people chattering loudly for nearly five hours.

"Someone's in a mood," he teases. "Are you excited for your first party?"

I wince. "Not really."

He walks over to a cupboard and takes out two Advils. "This'll make you feel better."

"Thanks," I mutter, swallowing the pills and drinking some more water. My throat still feels dry, and I'm ridiculously exhausted, even though I slept for about three hours.

I walk back upstairs to find Alice going through my bag, looking for my clothes. She lays them out on the bed and stares at them in horror. I've clearly entered the room in a bad time, and, just as I'm about to sneak out unseen, she whips around and notices me. I cringe, knowing exactly what's coming and dreading every second of it.

"Isabella Marie Swan," she says slowly, in the way a parent would say it if I'd been in trouble, "what the _hell _are these?"

"My party clothes?" I don't see what's wrong with my jeans, hoodie, and t-shirt. I mean, we're all just gonna get drunk anyway, so what's the point of getting dressed up and risking ruining a perfectly good shirt?

"You're joking." Alice stares at me like I've lost my mind. "There's no way I'm letting you go in these."

"Actually," I say with a smug smile, "you told me I could pick out my own clothes, so you _are _letting me go in these if you want me to go at all."

She narrows her eyes at me. I'm clearly not her favorite person at the moment, but I really couldn't care less. "You can't be serious."

I shrug, saying nothing else.

"At least look through my closet and see if there's anything you wanna wear. Anything at all. Please."

I nod, but it's mostly to calm her down. There's nothing in her closet I'd wear, even though I don't necessarily dislike the clothes she owns. They're just…not my style. I look through them, cringing inwardly at the idea of me wearing any of these to the stupid party.

She has a shirt in there I've never seen before. It's a Ramones shirt, and it looks big enough to fit me, so I pick that out. I take her leather jacket too, hoping this would be is a slight improvement from my hoodie. It's not bad, and I can see myself wearing it, so I look at her to see what she thinks.

"It's better," Alice says with a smile. "Thanks, Bells."

"Go get dressed," I reply, shaking my head.

"I kind of need your help with that, actually."

I raise an eyebrow. I'm not the best with fashion. In fact, I would have expected her to ask Rosalie, since she's clearly better at this than I am.

"I can try to help."

"Awesome." She clapped her hands. "Okay, so I have these two outfits, and I don't know what to wear."

I doze off after she begins explaining to me that the texture of one shirt makes it more appropriate than the other one. I really don't give a crap about textures, but I end up telling her to choose the first one, the one with a skirt. Whatever.

I take a shower and get dressed. I realize how pale I look when I wear dark clothes, but I shake off those thoughts and brush my hair quickly, well aware that I'm probably gonna make us late due to my tendency to take really long showers.

It turns out that we're all waiting for Alice, who's still getting ready. Jasper, Emmett, Rose, Edward and I sit downstairs on the different couches in the living room, talking about the party and how it's actually pretty close. We would walk if we lived someplace where it wasn't freaking freezing outside at this time of the year.

Rosalie tells Emmett that, if he gets drunk, he's gonna be in the kind of trouble he doesn't like being in, and he states that the last time was _accidental._He promises not to get drunk, and Rosalie says that we're all witnesses of this promise.

I didn't know Emmett had a problem getting drunk. I know he likes to party for sure, because he's always the one that accompanies Edward to all of this when Alice and I stay in watching movies some Friday nights. Jasper is the only guy who isn't much of the party type, but he doesn't mind going. He's more reserved, though, more like the kind of guy who would be reading a book on a Friday night.

Alice finally walks down the stairs, and we all step outside, into the cold. I immediately miss the warmth of the house.

We go in two separate cars—Emmett, Rose, and Edward in one, and Alice, Jasper and I go in another. We didn't know we would have to split, but Jasper couldn't bring his dad's minivan.

I'm the designated driver, apparently, because Alice obviously plans on drinking and Jasper does whatever the hell she asks him to.

I can see cars lined up all over the streets. We can't find a good parking spot, so we settle on parking two blocks away from the party and walking the rest of the way there. Whatever. I get out of the car, shut the door, shove my cold hands into the warm pockets of Alice's leather jacket, and start making my way in once Alice and Jasper are in front of me.

The music can be heard from the moment we begin walking toward the party, and I wince, my headache not completely gone yet. Edward's walking far ahead with Emmett and Rose, who are talking to him in what seems like low, hushed tones. I don't know or care to find out what that's all about. They're probably telling him not to get shitfaced, which I've heard is typical Edward Cullen behavior.

Jasper and Alice are holding hands, and I'm trying desperately not to look like a third wheel. I see more people as I come closer to the party. Some of them are just hanging outside, drinking and talking with each other. It's not as bad outside as it is inside, but I know that, if I stay outside, chances are I'll freeze to death.

Life decisions suck.

I make my way inside, following Jasper and Alice. The house is full of people in a way that almost makes me feel claustrophobic. The music seems like it's playing at full volume right by my ears, and my head is pounding like crazy, my heart racing. People are dancing all over the house, some holding red cups and others too into dancing to bother taking a sip of anything. They've probably had their share of alcohol already, anyway.

I try to keep up with Alice, but she's tiny and I lose her for a second, and I feel really lost. I've never really seen this amount of people in a room so tiny before with the exception of concerts, but that's a totally different feeling, and although there are definitely way more people at concerts, there's also more space.

People from different schools have joined us, and they seem to be having fun. I don't care for anyone from a different school. I spot Jasper a couple of people in front of me, so I push and shove my way through and then I tap [on] his shoulder. When he turns around, though, I find that I'm staring at an unfamiliar face.

"Sorry," I mumble, feeling like an idiot.

"Bella?"

The sound of Alice's voice comes from behind me, so I turn around and find her. "Hey, you," she says, walking towards me. "I thought I'd lost you."

I glare at her. "I hate you."

She lets out a laugh and guides me to a different room, a definitely emptier one. I feel like I can finally breathe, and she hands me a red cup.

"But I'm the designated driver," I manage to say, eyeing the red cup.

"Jasper will drive," Alice says, her voice surprisingly convincing.

I shake my head, handing it back to her. "It's okay."

"Bella, just drink."

I debate the options in my head: I could _not _drink and be an idiot standing in a party without a red cup and doing absolutely nothing, or I could drink and loosen up and hopefully begin to enjoy the stupid party that my friends have sadly dragged me to.

I take a tentative sip from the cup and wince. I've never really liked beer, and I wish they had something I actually like, but all I can spot so far is beer.

"You don't just drink it like that." Alice rolls her eyes at me. "You drink it all at once. I mean, beer isn't meant to be sipped."

"Shut up, Alice." I keep sipping it to prove a point.

"Whatever," she says. "So how are you liking it?"

I let out a sigh. "Not a lot, to be honest. I pictured it to be more impressive."

"You'll like it once we get to the drinking games."

I've heard about drinking games, but that doesn't mean I necessarily know how to play them. Alice smirks at me knowingly, and I figure she'll lead me to them whenever they start.

"What kind of drinking game are we talking about?"

"Well, with you, something really basic. Like, um, when people get _really _drunk and they're beyond tired and all, they start playing spin the bottle, which is a really easy way to get some. So, that one."

I glare at her. She's the only one out of the two of us who thinks I need to get laid. She's tried to set me up with so many guys, the latest being Mike Newton, but I just don't want to date anyone right now—or hook up with anyone, just because that's not really my style. I let out a sigh when she looks at me with a pleading expression.

I don't understand why my sex life matters so much to her. "Alice, I'm not hooking up with anyone tonight. I just came to see what parties are like."

"You haven't experienced a party until you've hooked up with someone," she states, and I want to tell her that's not necessarily true when Jasper comes up to her.

"They're playin' spin the bottle," he tells her, probably knowing how much she loves the game or whatever. She takes my hand and tells me to follow her, and I have no choice but to do so, because I don't wanna stay behind and alone.

There's a circle of people sitting on the floor with their red cups visible. There's an empty beer bottle in the middle of the circle, which is probably the one they used to spin.

"We need more people," a familiar male voice says. Mike? "Bella!"

My eyes widen and I begin to shake my head. "No, no, no."

He nods repeatedly. "Come on, Cullen, help me out."

I didn't notice that Edward is also in the circle. He smirks when he sees me and, like the asshole he is, agrees to get me into the circle. "Having fun so far, Swan?"

"Shut up, Cullen." I glare at him and shrug him and Mike off as I agree to do this. Whatever. So what if I have to end up kissing someone? I've had my first kiss. I don't care if I have to do this.

I stare at my red cup and begin drinking. Like, a lot. I don't know what's possessing me, but it's like I can't stop. I don't want to. Maybe, if I drink enough, they'll ignore the fact that I'm here. Or I'll pass out. Exciting stuff, really.

Sadly, that's not the case. They spin the bottle, and it lands on Jessica and Mike. She groans, probably expecting that she would get Edward and disappointed when she got Mike, though I don't know why, since Mike is actually kind of cute. The two of them take gulps of their drinks in hopes of easing their emotions.

They crawl over to each other until they find a space where their lips meet in the middle, and [they kiss] hesitantly. I watch as Jessica grimaces, but then she softens into the kiss for a split second before they break apart.

"I get to spin now," she says with a smirk and takes the bottle, spinning it.

It lands on her and Mike again. The two of them drink some more, clearly over their awkwardness. "Okay," says Edward, "now you have to take it to the next level."

"What?" She looks positively horrified.

"Be creative," he says with an amused smile as he watches. I can't help but smirk as his words and watch as they repeat their movements from earlier and kiss, but this time they're closer and more comfortable with each other. He cups her face in his hands and brings her closer, and she fists his shirt to pull him closer too. They break apart suddenly, their eyes wide. They've been friends for so long, and now this thing has happened between them, and it's clear that they have no idea how to react.

"Well, then," Angela says, cracking a smile. "I'll spin, okay?"

No one says any opposing sounds, so she spins the bottle and we all hold our breaths.

One end lands on Edward, and he's looking at it and then back at me, and it takes a moment for it to register.

I have to kiss Edward Cullen.

Freakin' great.

I swallow the rest of my drink and crawl over to him, and he takes some of his drink and does the same. We can't believe we're doing this, or at least I can't. I don't know how he looks so calm when I'm freaking out on the inside. This is Alice's stepbrother, the guy I've seen most days in the past four or so years. It's ridiculous to think that I'm about to kiss him and everyone will be watching. There isn't nearly enough alcohol in my system to shut up my rambling mind, which is looking for ways to get out of this situation as soon as possible.

I can feel his breathing. He smells like alcohol and cigarettes, and when our lips finally meet, I notice that he tastes like them too, along with mint. It's a perfectly odd combination, and I can't help but smile into the kiss at the thought. I want to pull him closer, to tug at his hair so that there will be no distance between us, but those wants are interrupted by the logical part of my brain.

We break apart, and I feel confused. What the hell just happened? Did I actually like that? I remember the kiss, but it's like my emotions stopped existing, and I don't remember feeling anything. I know he's a good kisser, though. He's definitely great at it, so I know I didn't hate it, even though I do hate him.

It's a nice thought, the fact that he isn't an absolutely horrible person and can make me feel a spark of something, but I hate that I didn't hate it as much as I probably should have, considering I hate him. However, there's alcohol in my system and I'm not myself, so I use that as an excuse to calm myself down and feel better about the whole thing.

I stand up from the circle, unable to stay in the same room as Edward and all of these people. Oh my god. I just kissed my best friend's stepbrother. The one guy who's extremely off-limits. The one guy I've hated since the moment I met him. The one guy I've always told myself I would never like, just because he's an ass and a heartbreaker and an overall bad guy.

And I just kissed him.

True, it wasn't a kiss out of emotion. It had been a game, really, and that's a comforting thought, except I didn't hate it like Jessica hated Mike Newton's kiss. I wanted to hate Edward's kiss so much, and I hate that I don't remember it as clearly as I should because of the alcohol, but I remember liking it at least slightly.

Why the hell did I agree to come to this thing tonight?

Alice is gonna find out. Alice is gonna hate me. She's gonna _kill_ me, for God's sake. She never wanted me to speak to him, let alone let him kiss me while we're under the influence of alcohol and in front of a bunch of people. Why couldn't the freaking bottle have landed on someone else? On Mike Newton? Hell, I'm pretty sure kissing Jessica would've been less torturous than kissing Edward.

I spot Emmett and Rosalie in the crowd and quickly turn away from them. I need some air. I really, really need some air. Partying is not my thing, I realize. I make my way outside and feel the cold air sharply bring back my sensations. I'm not numb and confused anymore. I'm freezing and feeling everything and aware that I've just made the stupidest mistake of my life and I can't undo it.

And the worst thing is that I walked away.

If only I'd stayed and shown that I didn't care about the freaking kiss, then everything would be okay. But now they're all going to assume that they know exactly what I'm feeling, even though they don't. I don't like Edward, and I never will, and just because his kiss didn't make me want to throw myself off a building doesn't mean I have feelings for him other than ones of hatred and disgust.

I stay outside too long, staring at the sky and trying to count the stars. I'm bored, but I don't want to go back inside. I don't know how much time has passed when I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey," Jasper says, sitting down on the grass beside me. "You okay?"

I shrug. "Tired."

"I heard about what happened with Edward," he says. "I know you're scared that Alice is gonna kick your ass for doin' that, but I honestly don't think she will. It's just a game."

"Yeah, but she barely lets me talk to him." I close my eyes. I don't know how to explain to Jasper that I made a promise to myself never to feel anything toward him again, because he broke my heart when I only liked him. And now…well, I can't like him now. I have school and my parents and friends and other things to worry about that are more important than him. Plus, he's still a jerk.

"Alice is a huge party person," Jasper tells me. "Trust me, she'll understand."

I force a smile. "Thanks, Jasper. By the way, when are we leaving?"

"Hopefully soon, because Alice is way too drunk. I told Emmett to take care of her, since he seems to be keeping his promise to Rosie."

"Can you try to get them all so we can leave?" I'm begging him with my eyes. I think he knows something's wrong, but he doesn't say it. He just nods and hands me his jacket, since he notices me shivering. I thank him, and he just smiles.

I don't know how he can perceive what I can't, because he knows I am a mess and I can't even figure out why I am one. I mean, so what if I kissed my best friend's stepbrother? It's just a game. Just. A. Game. She loves it, too, so she'll definitely understand.

The truth is, she's my excuse. She's the only thing that I can use to express how much I hated that kiss. I hated it because I liked it, and that's what's got me all torn up inside. I don't know how I'm gonna face him, even though I know already that he won't be looking at me any differently, because the kiss didn't mean anything.

Not to either one of us.

It's just weird how it leaves you thinking about the people you hate and how many can charm you with a kiss.

He hasn't charmed me, but I see it now. What the other girls see.

I don't wanna see it again.

Carlisle and Esme Cullen are at a medical convention in New York City and won't be home until Sunday, which is the only reason we can all waltz back into the house without getting into any sort of trouble for being out until almost two in the morning. I march straight up to Alice's room to get my stuff. I'll sleep in the guest room, because I need to sleep alone tonight.

I make my own bed and am soon under the covers, thinking about what happened tonight once more. I need to get some sleep, but I can't. He's sleeping here, in the same house as I am, and he kissed me. And I'm scared about facing him.

I don't know why. This irrational nervousness has to stop. I don't understand why it's even there or how it came about, but it isn't letting me relax or sleep, and I do love my sleep.

I groan and make my way down the stairs, hoping that maybe getting a snack and something to drink will ease the pit in my stomach. I see that the light is turned on, and I figure that Emmett is getting some food, since he never stops eating.

But it's not Emmett standing there, and I curse my brain for making me come downstairs and thinking that this was slightly close to logical.

Edward clears his throat. "Are you done checking me out, Swan?"

I roll my eyes at him, feeling a lot more like myself. I walk over to the fridge and get a bottle of water, and grab a granola bar from one of the cupboards. "Shut up, Cullen."

"About what happened tonight," he says, stopping me dead in my tracks. "It didn't mean anything. Don't freak out."

I turn around. "Your sister's still gonna kill me."

"Nah," he says. "She probably won't even remember her own name by the time she wakes up."

I smirk. "Night, Cullen."

I hear a faint reply as I make my way up the stairs.

* * *

_Let me know what you think! Thank you for reading. :) xo_


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